


Damn You, Auto Correct!

by NotGuyFieri



Series: Short Stories [7]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Auto Correct, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4747535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotGuyFieri/pseuds/NotGuyFieri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone who has a smartphone knows that auto correct is a pain in the ass. Being a superhero with a smartphone is no exception. Witness the hilarious everyday struggles of the Young Justice Team as they attempt to communicate, but are of course, blocked by mister auto-correcto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dick Move (Dick & Barbara)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is how these work. These stories are made to represent an actual phone screen. The person who's name is at the top is the one who's text messages appear on the left. Italic font represents actions that go on outside of the phone screen.

##  ** BARBARA GORDON **

So we'll meet tomorrow at 11?  


Yeah.  


Great! I love your Dick <3  


Haha, glad to know that Babs, lol  


...  
*you  


I still think you love my dick  


Shut up.  


still laughing


	2. Thirty Seconds To Live (Jaime & Barry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> barry allen flips shit.

##  ** BART ALLEN **

dude I swear I'll beat you in COD this time. One more round please.

_Jaime put down his phone and rolled his eyes. He'd reply to Bart after he was done with his homework, as his mother was bugging for him to make for more "study time"._  
  
_Twenty-three minutes later, Jaime picked up his phone again to reply to Bart._

##  ** BARRY ALLEN **

Lmao you really think you can beat me?  
I'll fuck you in the ass just as hard as last time, ese  


WHAT  


Oh sorry Barry that was meant for Bart  


YOU'RE DEAD TO ME REYES  


WAIT  
NO  


I'LL BE THERE IN THIRTY SECONDS YOU PIECE OF SHIT

NO  
OH MY GOD ARE YOU AT MY DOOR??  
DUDE  
I MEANT KICK  
KICK NOT FUCK  
IT WAS AUTOCORRECT  
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME


	3. Quick as Drake (Zatanna & Artemis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> artemis supposedly takes a literal shit

##  ** ZATANNA ZATARA **

Artemis when are you coming?  


10 mins ill take a real quick shit  


didn't need to know that but okay  


HAHAHA  
**shower  
fuckin autocorrect lol  


Makes more sense.


	4. BIG Problem (Tim & Roy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's no shit involved with this one. sorry guys.

##  ROY HARPER 

still pissed at Dick for kicking me out  


He's doing his job.  


You're only saying that cause you're Robin  


It's the truth, though.  


What the fuck am I supposed to do now  
smoke weed and go to rape concerts?  


...  
What the hell?  
Dude, that's so wrong...  


lol rap  
i meant rap Tim chill  


Oh okay  
What artist?  


Notorious big  


He's dead  


Exactly  


What?  


sh


	5. Dick Fil' Gay (Jaime & Bart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello. 
> 
> that's all.
> 
> hello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to think of a title real quick so I went with "Chick Fil' A". But I just thought of the new chapter name, and couldn't stop laughing.

##  **  
BART ALLEN **

dude guess what  


What is it hermano?  


I just chowed down 3 whole chicks  


I'd rather not hear about your sex life, ese.  
But... good job?  


HA  
chickens*  


I bet you wish they were chicks.  


lol dude I'm gay  


Wait you're gay?  


Yea.  


10/10 most creative way to come out  
gg Bart


	6. Daddy Bats (Wally & Bruce)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next up: brownies

##  ** BRUCE WAYNE **

How's Dick doing?  


A little better. Weed eating at Pizza Hut to make him feel better  


WHAT?! YOU'RE GIVING HIM DRUGS?!  
Wallace, you WON'T be stepping anywhere near him anytime soon!

NO   
NO BRUCE I'M NOT  
I MEANT WE'RE EATING AT PIZZA HUT  


I'm still giving you both a drug test when you get back to Mount Justice.


	7. Friendly Fetishes (Wally & Bart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title of this chapter... I don't know why I laughed for five minutes

##  ** WALLY WEST **

Dude cheese dicks are the best!  
They don't have this stuff in the future.  
I could eat it all day  


Really didn't need to know about your dick cheese fetish cus...  
In this era we don't openly talk about that stuff.  


Ew lol  
Stick. Cheese stick  
Calm down Wally  
That still exists in the future btw  


FUCKING HELL


	8. Popeing Off (Dick & Wally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bros 4 lyfe m8

##  ** DICK GRAYSON **

I'm bored wyd  


popeing  


You're religious?  


whoops  
Meant pooping.  


That's not any better bro lol  


Shut up i should feel comfortable telling you these things  


Well if you're that comfortable then I'm jacking off  


why the hell are you texting me when you're jacking off  
What the fuck Wally  
Wally it's been 5 minutes  
you're starting to scare me


	9. Quicker Than (Tim) Drake (Tim & Roy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim needs to calm his man titties

##  ** ROY HARPER **

hey can you tell Cass I'm out of the hospital?  


FINALLY. Dude I was just about to kiss her  


WHAT?!  
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND YOU FUCKING DOUCHE  


Omg Tim calm ur tits  
It corrected to kiss instead of kill  


Oh... sorry... haha  
my bad  


Tits calmed.


	10. Wally Buys Ramen and Texts (Wally & Artemis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahh, Spitfire. My season 1 otp. And if you've read more than two of my stories n' can't figure out my season two OTP, shame on you

##  ** ARTEMIS CROCK **

So lonely here...  
WHEN YOU COME HOME I'M GONNA KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO STEAL YOUR $20 FOR 40 PACKS OF RAMEN  
IT WAS A GREAT DEAL BABE  
YOU DON'T JUST PASS 2 FOR 1 OFFERS ARTY  


fucking what  


SORRY I'LL REPAY YOU  


lol Wally it corrected to kick  
I meant kiss  


Thank god  


I'm still going to kick you for spending $20 for packs of ramen  
smh  
why would you do that  


...


	11. Girl Talk (Zatanna & Artemis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love their friendship that was only shown in 1 episode

##  ** ZATANNA ZATARA **

Hey what's up  


Getting new boobs  


well i guess they were always on the smaller side  


boots...  
Artemis, I meant boots  


oh haha yeah I was confused there  
you should still consider getting new boobs though  


lol you're a little bitch  


I know  


I'm glad we can agree.


	12. Home Movies (Jaime & Bart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lel

##  ** JAIME REYES **

dude I'm looking through your window. it's cracked.  


WTF  
YOU FUCKING CREEP  


???  


I'M STILL CHANGING  
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING THROUGH MY WINDOW  


i meant your car window  
windshield  


Dear god you almost gave me a heart attack  


...

 

 

 

 

 

 

can I watch


	13. Baby Wipes (Conner & Kaldur)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, Conner IS technically a baby...

##  ** CONNER KENT **

 

M'gann has claimed that she's winning the Mario Kart tournament, Conner.   


pfft  
Sure, Kaldur...  
She's wiping my ass!  


I do not require that information...  


shit lol  
winning*  


That is a relief. 

It's ironic, because I'm writing this from the toilet.  


I didn't need to know that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been inactive.
> 
> Due to health issues, I won't be able to post these for a while. Sorry :(


	14. ItwasautocorrectIswear (Jaime & Bart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pffft, what do you mean the bluepulse ones are my favorite ones to write? you're funny...

##  JAIME REYES

Bart  
This tension has to stop  
I'm sorry

yeah I agree  
We should really just fuck already  
I'm sick of putting it off  


uh  
...what?  


whoops  
talk**  
can't stop laughing lol  


Yea I was talking about the fight we had  


..right lol


	15. Sitting In A Tree (Dick & Wally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breh im tripping i just accidentally uploaded one of the chapters from one of my other stories to this
> 
> i need sleep

##    
WALLY WEST

Lol dude Artemis saved your ass in that gym  


No she didn't.  


It was her arrow tho  


That was just out of pure love  


awww  
Do you love her back?  


OMG NO  


Wally has a crush on Artemis!!  


LUCK  
IT WAS LUCK  


sureeeee  


I really meant luck dude

lol have fun staying in denial bro


	16. Redtube Is Better Than Youtube (Garfield & M'gann)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bored American child.

_I push myself out of the ground, letting out of a large gasp for air as I surface. Using the the last of the strength I could muster, I pushed myself out, collapsing onto the green grass._  
  
_"What in the hell?" I ask as I stand up, looking over my tombstone._  
  
_A person approaching dropped their flowers, and their jaw dropped. I turned my head to look over at them._  
  
_"Are you a zombie?" they asked in horror._  
  
_"Are you high or something? Dude, I was buried alive!" I told them._  
  
_They gave me a confused look, and raised their eyebrow, "But everyone thought you died."_  
  
_"Unfortunately not." I sarcastically laughed, "You know, if I'm not hit by a truck or something, I'll probably live another sixty or seventy years."_  
  
_"Oh. Well does this mean you'll go back to writing those fifty-word-pieces-of-random-most-of-the-time-sexual-humor works that people somehow find funny?" the person asked._  
  
_"I guess. I mean, I was planning on having thirty chapters." I informed, "Whatever, I best get to it. You love gay porn? I love gay porn. LET'S GET TO IT!"_

##  ** GARFIELD LOGAN **

  
can u send me that redtube video of the weird indian dude fucking that white kid with only 4 fingers on his right hand  
  
_Oh shit, Garfield realized, he had accidentally sent that text to Megan. In desperation, he began to type again, but not before she texted back._

 

 

WTF GAR???

 

I meant the youtube video of the indian dude kicking the white kid with only 4 fingers on his hand

It was autocorrect sorry

 

sure it was  
Want me to read your mind when I get home?

 

Wow sis you don't trust me!

 

Stop watching porn Gar

 

no.


	17. Fappy Hallowally (Wally & Artemis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have a gay halloween

##  ** ARTEMIS CROCK **

Hey  
I got some blumpkins at the store today, for at half the normal price too!  


YOU WHAT  
WALLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF NOW OR WE'RE OVER  


NOO  
NO BABE IT WAS PUMPKINS  
PUMPKINS TO CARVE  
IT JUST CORRECTED TO THE WORD BLUMPKINS  


Why would it correct to blumpkins??? That's not even a real word y'know  


it just did okay


	18. k (Tim & Garfield)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE DARKNESS ABSORBS MY SOUL AS I AM SUCKED INTO THIS UNDERWORLD OF ETERNAL HELL AND FLAMES AS I LIVE AS A SLAVE OF SATAN WHILE HE TORTURES MY FAMILY
> 
>  
> 
> okay enjoy the chapter.

****

###  **GARFIELD LOGAN**

****

Tim  
I still don't get it.   
Why does that make it okay for her to smack me when I'm just a fly?  
She coulda killed me  


Omfg  
Garfield, you're being ridiculous  


I'm not!  


Here, I'll show you an anal

  


uh..  
no thanks i'm good..  


So basically, you were batting her around as a lion, right? And then when she tried to smack you turned into a fly   
wait  
...  
analogy*  


k  
I'll talk to you later tim  


wait I'm not done  
Beast Boy  
GARFIELD LOGAN  
...  
Well fuck you too, then.


	19. Cancer Isn't a Joke, Guys... Wait, nvm (Jade & Roy II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...anybody else have finals coming up?

###  ** JADE NGUYEN-HARPER **

Did you see the Father's day card Lian drew?

Yup, she's autistic, just like her mother.  


...  
Are you serious right now?  
That is not funny.  


Wait no Jade  
Artistic***  
Meant artistic.  
....Jade?


	20. AHAHAHA I'M NEVER GETTING LAID (Dick & Artemis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These chapter titles are getting more and more sad with each one.

##  ** ARTEMIS CROCK **

 

Hey Arty  
How was your date with Wally?

Well, he thought it'd be really funny to set my neighbor's what he described as "rich soil, organic, one of a kind" ass on fire

lol that's just Wally being Wally  
Rich soil organic one of a kind ass though?  
Sounds like a gay vegan porn title  
Were you the camerawoman while they filmed one?  


...  
I'm slightly disturbed by you, Dick  
I meant grass... it just came out as ass.  
Wtf is gay vegan porn  


Exactly what it sounds like.  


You have too much free time.  


You don't have enough free time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i just went on redtube and searched up "gay vegan" and apparently it doesn't exist... i'm so fucking pissed off right now


	21. Magic Mike XXXXXXXL (Zatanna & Artemis)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet is so goddamn slow it's like a silent dial-up... fr it took like 15 minutes for this page to load.
> 
> So I saw this Tumblr textpost:
> 
> Mom: why don't you read anymore
> 
> Me: I read fan ficiton
> 
> Mom: why don't you read REAL books
> 
> Me: Sorry for wanting stories with gay characters
> 
> Mom: wait, is there really not that much LGBT friendly literature
> 
> Me: no
> 
> Mom: so what does that mean
> 
> Me: uh... I should write some
> 
> Mom: go write some gay fiction
> 
> Me: ...
> 
> Mom: be the gay Shakesphere
> 
> Behold, I am here.
> 
> I am your guys' lord and savior:
> 
> the gay Shakesphere.
> 
> (it's two in the morning what the fuck am i doing)

##  ** ZATANNA ZATARA **

Hey Artemis, can you come over? I'm bored. I can show you a magic dick if you want.

Magic dick as in you'll make a dick appear between your legs, or a dick as it cums in shooting stars instead of semen?  


Lol... funny. But I meant magic trick. It was just auto correct.  


Can that be the magic trick, though?  


Sure I guess... I mean if you want. But which one would want to see though? Lol  


Both. At the same time. Combined.  


You're fucking crazy.  


I just finished finals okay so why the hell not.   


Good point.

 


	22. Gewgle (Conner & M'gann)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry (early) Christmas you crazy Indonesian whores

##  MY BOO-BOO CONNER <3 <3 <3

I love you :)

I love youtube :)  


...  
M'gann...? 

Why do you feel more affectionate to a form of social media, rather than me?

wait what  


Do you seriously hold more affection towards a website run by Google?   


Conner that was just autocorrect  
calm down  
I meant "you too"  
Why are you so sensitive?  


I'm one years old, what do you expect?


	23. Young Blood (Artemis & Zatara)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Arty...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year's Eve and have a fuckin fantastic 2016 guys... I know sure as hell I won't... lol.
> 
> (Who's gonna bingewatch s2 of YJ with me? I mean the time has come... tomorrow is when the first episode takes place.)
> 
> This chapter was requested by Dimmension Traveler on fanfiction

 

##  ** ZATARA **

Ugh... Zatanna. You'll never guess.

I have the worst cramps ever.

I won't stop bleeding! 

Seriously it's just like a volcano exploded and blood is gushing out violently

I could make a horror movie out of this shit  


_Artemis put down her phone, cracking open her sixth bag of Hershey Kisses. Just as she was popping the first Kiss in her mouth, she realized something.  
Oh fuck._

WAIT OMG

ZATARA I'M SORRY...  
I THOUGHT THIS WAS ZATNNA.  


I'm clocking your number.  


??  


I meant blocking. Damn cellphone. 


	24. Boiling Noodles (Dick Grayson & Wally West)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dont get ur titties in a tangle

##  ** WALLY WEST **

Hey, can we talk? 

Yeah, you good?  


Feeling down, actually.  


What happened?  


Well... Artemis and I ended up in a huge fire... and now she's gone.  


WHAT??  
OH MY GOD.  


You're being pretty dramatic about that but okay  


DUDE YOU SAID SHE DIED

Oh.  
Fight. Sorry. Corrected to fire.  
lol  


You scared me for a second  


Not my fault.  


...so what was the fight over?  


I spent too much money on ramen


	25. Gas Station (Barry & Wally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i bet youre all wondering why this chapter is called "Gas Station"

##  ** BARRY ALLEN **

Where are you?? Batman needs you at Mount Justice

I'm busy  
I'm eating out at Artemis with Dick  


...  
What?  


LOL  
Arby's*  


Good. You had me confused and slightly concerned there for a second.  


Hey man I can do that too  


With Dick???  


...that depends on the situation  


Just get to Mount Justice won't you?   


k


	26. Westboro Baptist Church (Dick & Wally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol that church has 0 fucking chill guys

##  ** DICK GRAYSON **

Dude lol there was this crazy religious lady in the street  
apparently evolution is a lie and homosexuals aren't real  


Oh. So you don't exist to her then?  


...  
did you just.  


yes

Sapiens.  
Homosapiens.  
It just corrected to homosexuals  


suuure  


I'm not gay  


Mhm  


Dude seriously I'm dating Artemis... a girl. That would make me straight  


Why are you acting so defensive?  


I'M NOT GAY


	27. Hipsters and Killers (Wally & Bart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay

**SOME MAGICAL PLACE IN THE UNITED STATES**

**  
JANUARY 20TH, 2016**

**  
AROUND 5 P.M.**  
  
"Cool. Which game you wanna play next?" my friend asked from the other side of the screen.  
  
"I dunno. You pick one." I suggested, not really in the mood to search for one, taking a sip of my soda. It slipped through my fingers, and spilled all over my laptop.  
  
"Shit! I just spilled coke all over my laptop!" I screamed.  
  
My friend laughed, but then got serious, "Is it okay?"   
  
I tried typing, but the keys were all screwed up. Whenever I hit the "g" key, it would always add "t" to it, creating "gt". Some of the keys wouldn't move at all. I clicked down and began typing some, and then the laptop would start typing "`" and not stop. I told my friend I had to go to try and save it, turned it off, and began to tear off the keys.   
  
I could see the dried coke underneath them. I cleaned them up as good as I could, but the keys would stop working. The laptop began to flicker. I watched with horror as it flickered faster and faster.   
  
Then it went out.  
  
Desperately, I hit at the power button, trying to get it started again. Nope. Nothing. Not knowing what else to do, I shook it. Brown liquid began to spill out of it. I suspended it in their air until the liquid was gone before attempting to turn it on again. Still, nothing.   
  
It was dead.  


 

  
**R.I.P YJFICSANDSTUFF'S LAPTOP  
DECEMBER 2012 - JANUARY 2016  
WAS A GUD LAPTOP MANE  
**

For those of you wondering what the actual fuck that was, that was a very long author's note explaining why I've been inactive. Really. I've been writing this story since September and I'm trying to upload the last few chapters as quickly as possible. Props to that laptop though. It has seen all of the homework, fan fictions, youtube videos, and _totally not porn_ , what are you talking about- since 2012. 

Moral of the story: you're not invincible, dumbass. Don't get cocky because you've had a laptop for 3+ years and never spilled a drink on it. Don't think you never will.

(Sorry. I'm just kind of mad at myself for destroying it) 

No, but seriously guys, don't have open drinks near your computer.

Since soda is what fucking murdered my laptop, I'll dedicate a chapter to it.

* * *

 

##  ** BART ALLEN **

 

What do you and your friends want for the party tonight?

Tim, Cassie, Jaime and I want sprite. Gar wants lemonade

You all want soda but Gar wants lemonade? Hipster much?

he says he doesn't like it when it jizzes

 lol what  
I mean I wouldn't either  
what kind of soda has he been drinking?

omfg  
fizzes*

Why does "jizzes" come before "fizzes" in your phone?   
That's like "fucking" becoming before "ducking".

no reason

suuuure


	28. BirdSlash (Dick & Bruce)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> muy homosexual

##  ** BRUCE WAYNE **

It's been a long day, Grayson...  
so I want to know, who are you doing?

Oh Bruce, haha  
You don't know by now? Thought you were a detective  


?  


Wally  


What?  


Don't be a homophobe Bruce  


What are you talking about?  
...  
First of all, how*  
Second of all, you're grounded.  


I'm 19  


I don't care.  


I do

I'm Batman. I ground who I want. And if you're gonna be having sex in the manor then I have every right to.  


fine...  


Also no holograms for a week  


WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I recently had a gay Wally/Dick chapter but I thought of this in English class and couldn't resist.


	29. ocat hsif (Wally & Kaldur)

##  ** WALLY WEST **

 

Hey Kaldur  
You know the old saying...  
I'm so hungry I could eat a whore!  
You near a fast food place or anything? 

I am  
Though I do fear for you Wally, eating a whore could result in catching many diseases.  
You do not know where those kind of women have been...

LOL  
Well  
I guess a whore would work too, but I meant horse

Oh. Haha.   
What would you like from Burger King?

A premium Alaskan fish sandwich please

...No.


	30. Endgame

Yes, I know that I'm an evil bastard because of the chapter title.  
  
Okay, I've decided to take the time to explain each chapter title. If you like puns, this is going to be your dream come true. _**NFSW**_ , but if you actually read _Damn You Auto Correct!_ , I highly doubt you have a job in the first place, and are most likely a sexually frustrated idiot teenager who can't keep their mouth shut and has to apply acne cream to their face at least twice a day.   
  
 _cough  
  
_ Never mind. Moving on.    
  
 **Dick Move -** Barbara accidentally makes a _wrong move_ , using "your" instead of "you" for Dick.   
  
 **Thirty Seconds To Live -** in this chapter, Barry says he'll be at Jaime's house in thirty seconds. He's so angry with him, he wants to kill him. Which only gives Jaime only thirty seconds to live.  
  
 **Quick As Drake -** Drake is a rapper, formerly an actor on the show "Degrassi". Not Tim Drake, mind you. Drake has a song called "0 too 100", in which, it includes the line "We go 0 too 100 nigga, real quick". Artemis, in the story, said she was going to be quick when she was going to take a shower/shit. Therefore, the title, "Quick as Drake".  
  
 **BIG Problems -** Roy has a problem with Dick. And he mentioned Notorious B.I.G, another who is also a rapper. Also "BIG" is wrote in all capitals, _big_ letters. Get it? Haha.  
  
 **Dick Fil' Gay** \- I'm not sure about my readers outside of 'murica, but here, we have this fast food chain called "Chick Fil' A". Chicken is mentioned in the chapter, along with Bart's creative coming out as a homosexual. And, well, if you don't know what "Dick Fil' Gay" implies, then you're too young to be reading these stories in the first place.  
  
 **Daddy Bats** \- Often, Bruce Wayne is portrayed as very overprotective over his baby birds. Therefore, "Daddy Bats".   
  
 **Friendly Fetishes -** I came up with this title back in September and I still laugh when I look at it to this day. Basically, due to Bart's error, Wally believes that Bart was opening up to him about his sexual fetishes in a casual, laid back manner.   
 **  
Popeing Off** \- I'm gonna be honest here. Not much thought went into this title. I just combined Dick's error (popeing instead of pooping) and Wally's activity (jacking himself off).  
  
 **Quicker Than (Tim) Drake -** Tim reacted very quickly when Roy said he was going to kiss Cassie.   
  
 **Wally Buys Ramen and Texts** \- Okay. I'm kind of embarrassed about this one, but it's a reference to the Filthy Frank show. There's a video called "Pink Guy Cooks Ramen and Raps", and I just replaced a couple of words, and boom. There's your title.  
  
 **Girl Talk** \- Artemis and Zatanna are girls talking about boobs. Need I say much more?  
  
 **Home Movies -** often times, porn is filmed with somebody setting a camera on a tripod and recording themselves doing a sexual act. Bart was looking through Jaime's car window, though Jaime thought he was looking through his bedroom window (which is in his home), watching him change, (And yes, Jaime _should_ close his blinds, but have any of you ever seen Young Justice? He _never does!_ ) unintentionally giving Bart a free "movie showing".  
  
 **Baby Wipes** \- Conner, as of 2016, is literally a six year old. That's where the word "Baby" comes in, and since he says, "She's wiping my ass!", "Wipes" comes in. Then you get "Baby Wipes".  
  
 **ItwasautocorrectIswear -** It wasn't.  
  
 **Sitting In A Tree -** Anybody who has experienced elementary school has probably heard "(insert name here), (insert name here), sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage!" when someone is being teased about having a crush. Since Dick was teasing Wally about having a crush on Artemis, the title fit.  
  
 **Redtube Is Better Than Youtube -** I swear to god I got like five messages asking me what Redtube was. If you're asking me what Redtube is, you either live underneath a Dwayne Johnson or you're too young to be reading _Damn You Auto Correct!_. (Honestly, I'm still waiting for a message from a soccer mom complaining about her child discovering porn through reading my stories. "I'm sorry Mrs. Shannon Smith, I didn't mean for Danny to miss his soccer practice because he was too traumatized discovering a hotkinkyjo video. Yes, you can speak to my manager.") Redtube is a porn site. Porn is mentioned in the title. I like Redtube. Okay? Got it? Great.  
  
 **Fappy Hallowally** \- Fappy replaced the word "Happy". Fapping is slang for masturbation. "Wally" replaced the second half of "Halloween," that being the "ween". Hey, "ween" kind of makes sense now too. Also, for those of you who don't know what a blumpkin is, it's when a person gives another person a blowjob on the toilet. _Nasty shit_ if you know what I mean. Anyways, Wally's mistake, "I got some blumpkins at the store today, for at half the normal price too!" makes him sound like he received a blumpkin from a prostitute, but she only charged him half of what she would charge normally.   
  
 **k -** Garfield says "k" in the chapter, and I didn't feel like coming up with a creative title.   
   
 **Cancer Isn't A Joke, Guys, Wait, Never Mind** \- Often, people get very offended when cancer is taken in a joking matter. For some reason, idiots on the internet seem to think autism is a form of cancer. So I was making fun of SJWs who think I'm trying to make fun of autistic people/people with cancer, then realize I'm not talking about cancer in the first place.  
  
 **AHAHAHA I'M NEVER GETTING LAID -** let's be real here... it only speaks the truth. Unless one of you sexy fans want to volunteer to help me with that situation?   
  
 **Magic Mike XXXXXXXL -** Dicks dicks dicks all up in this chapter. Reference to Magic Mike XL, you know, the movie about male strippers. I bet Zatanna would make her dick super huge.   
  
 **Gewgle** \- Since 2006, Google has owned Youtube. So I just wrote "Google" in a dumb form.  
  
 **Young Blood** \- Artemis is a strong young lady. And she's bleeding.   
 **  
Boiling Noodles** \- "Boiling" refers to Artemis's anger after she realized Wally spent a bunch of money on ramen (this chapter was a reference to Wally Buys Ramen and Texts), and "Noodles" refer to the ramen. Boil those noodles and you have some damn good ramen.  
  
 **Gas Station  -** I've lived in the same stupid town for my entire life. We have this gas station near the highway and there is an Arby's connected to it. So whenever I think of Arby's, I think of gas stations.   
  
 **Westboro Baptist Church -** Okay, even if I wasn't an atheist or queer, I'd hate this church just as much. Even the _Ku Klux Klan_ hate this church for crying out loud. They're annoying people who parade in the street holding up signs like "GOD HATES FAGS" and "PLANES CRASH. GOD LAUGHS." So the crazy religious lady Wally saw in the street was a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, preaching about how evolution is a lie and stuff like that, and creationism is real. Homosapiens are apart of evolution (obviously), so this crazy lady would not believe in them. Also, _West_ boro Baptist Church, Wally _West._  Get it? I just thought it had a nice ring to it.   
  
 **Hipsters and Killers -** To be honest, I couldn't come up with anything else. And honestly, hipsters/killers are two in the same. _Hipsters kill fun._  
  
 **BirdSlash -** BirdFlash is Dick and Wally's ship name. And since "slash" refers to a ship involving two males, it kind of just fit.   
  
 **ocat hsif** \- "fish taco" backwards, which is slang for "smelly vagina". Since whores and fish are mentioned in the chapter, that's where it came from.   
  
So yes. I have wasted the past five months of my life writing these 70-word crap pieces when I could have been a productive member of society. There's your conclusion.   
  
What was your favorite title? Let me know with a review/comment.  
  
check out my mixtape on soundcloud btw its fire


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